~~ Of being humble ~~

Humility – Something you should keep aside at this time of the year or every quarter end or basically whenever you fill self appraisal documents  Every time I fill this in, it gives me this weird feeling. And no, hey, not for the content that I should put in, but this super-weird feeling that creeps in slowly that says – hey, am I bragging about myself? I do know that this process is not really about boasting or bragging. It is just showcasing what might have gone un-noticed or reminding what might have been forgotten in due course by our supervisors – its showcasing how well or good we did with respect to the goals we set out to achieve when those were set. I know, I very well know this, but still, gets super weird for me.

As a reportee, I have always felt that a people manager should be aware and should be able to recognize stuff without the reportee having to say it out LOUD. Now, don’t get me wrong. I fully understand why a self appraisal is needed. Of all, it definitely gives us this fair choice to lay out our achievements in open for our supervisor to be able to steer us in the right direction. And as a supervisor, I have understood that it is not easy when a reportee expects you to know everything – it is a difficult expectation for the supervisor be a know-it-all, even if the supervisor is completely involved and knows what you do, day in and day out. Believe me, supervisors, at the end of the day, I feel, basically face the brunt both ways, from their reportees and then from their own supervisors   There’s never a right happy path either ways for them 

I have worked with a diverse set of supervisors – there are extremes ranging from supervisors having a proper complete data dashboard set up for each reportee(to the extent of noting down the date & time of extra-beyond-bau stuff the reportee agreed or declined to do and blah) to the other extreme, where supervisors, have absolutely no idea of what reportees are doing. Both the extremes, end up making life very difficult for the reportees when the time comes to validate – after all, an appraisal paves way to a lot of benefits that an employee roots for.

Do I have a preference? Yes, I’d any day like to have a supervisor who has that creepy dashboard, so that, at least there are data points which you can defy/agree to, there’s no BS thrown at you during appraisals, and you can expect a honest data points driven feedback. And it works well for the supervisor too – when he/she has to make informed decisions when the time comes.  How about you? Do you have a preference?

Now – how does this relate to my post title – you might wonder.  As I said, in the beginning, mentioning stuff you do without sounding a braggart, is a pain. Maybe not all the times, but often times, I get this feeling that I am just bragging about myself in my appraisal documents  (I sometimes feel this when I am blogging too, but that’s acceptable, I guess :P) … I cannot shake that feeling off sometimes, and, then, I just close the document and come back to it later in the day.

Maybe it has to do with my upbringing – we were not taught to flaunt our +ves. I do know a lot of parents where they go – “My daughter is super smart – she did this and that and this and that” and/or “My son is super brainy – he did that and he did this and so on”.  Strangers, relatives, friends – it doesn’t matter, these parents start with anyone, anywhere and the topic is always the same. These conversations do not seem to end once they begin. I have never seen my mom or dad do this. And believe me, it’s not because there was nothing to brag about, there was, but it just wasn’t the norm in my house. It is so ingrained that we need to practice humility about one’s achievements that it plays its trick right when I have to present my achievements in my self-appraisal, but nevertheless, I definitely make it a point to mention what needs to be mentioned 

For all of you out there, who have this very feeling, a very important thing to remember here is that we should not confuse humility with showcasing something that needs to be.  It is important to know that there’s nothing wrong of being proud of whatever you have achieved so far in the year, in life(in general), about showcasing it, because only you know how difficult your journey has been, and if you don’t stand up for it, no one ever will. It is also important that we should just not let any of these achievements go to our head, always be open to learning as there’s still so much more to learn, if not achieve.

What are your thoughts?

P.S: If you haven’t figured out why this sudden rant today – Here’s why. I was adding some notes to my self appraisal document today – and humility crept in like it does sometimes. I just wanted to convince myself that I was not bragging.

P.P.S: Now, having said that in the P.S, I suddenly have this super weird feeling – of whether I was bragging about being humble!?   Oh, never mind, there’s no winning this feeling.

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