~~ [Post 26] – Mommy Memoirs # 13 ~~

So am back with a Mommy Memoir 

So, this happened yesterday.

Out of the blue, my daughter looked at me with her cute button eyes and asked me this –

“Amma, how do you want me to celebrate your birthday when you are no more”

I was taken aback would be an understatement. It took me a whole minute to process the question, not that I kept looking at the clock or something, but, a question like that, suddenly, definitely, shocks you. It did take almost a minute long for me to register her question.  I remembered that in the morning, we had been discussing about the legendary actress Sridevi (May her soul rest in peace. What an amazing versatile actress she was!) being no more. My little girl also knows how big a deal celebrating a birthday is for me, and how big a deal I make of hers and everyone-who-is-close’s birthday. So, I wondered, if my recent birthday and the news of Sridevi’s death might have been the catalyst for the question.

I recovered and asked her if she had already thought about it and if yes, what exactly had she planned to do.   She was probably expecting me to ask this, because she immediately agreed to let me know of her plan for my birthday, a birthday where I will be no more.

I got all excited and asked her to let me know.

Here’s how the conversation went –

She – “First, I will remove the old garland that’s on your photo and adorn the photo with a fresh flower garland”

Me (smiling)  – “Okay”

She – “Second, I will clean the whole house”

Me (smiling) –  “Okay”

She – “Then, I will prepare a feast of your favorite food”

Me (smiling) – “Wow”

She – “I will first serve it to a crow, and invite the crow to have it, by screaming, Kaaaa, Kaaaaaaaa”

Me   – “Oh is it?“

She – noticing my amused expression & herself smiling – “And then once a crow eats the feast, I will serve myself and eat, and then after having payasam (kheer, pudding), will wish you “Happy birthday, Amma”, okay?”

At this, I just went Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww and hugged her tight.

I finally understood where this question had originated from. My mom had gone to her mother’s place recently to attend the yearly death anniversary ceremony of her dad, my grandfather. She had taken the little one along as well.  Normally during a death anniversary ceremony, an elaborate feast with specific set of curries and favorites of the departed is prepared. Before the lunch can begin, the first plate of food is offered to the crow. It is believed that the departed souls come down and feast on it and once a crow has tasted the food, lunch for others can begin. Most of the auspicious occasions also have us offering the food first to crows or cows (depending on the ceremony) before we begin our lunch. There’s also an alternate scientific theory of why this ritual of offering food to crows and cows, came into being, but I am not going to elaborate on it here. I realized that the little one had actually carefully watched all the happenings during the death anniversary ceremony and had thought that it was my late grandfather’s birthday celebration.

She must have thought, this is how a birthday is celebrated when the person is no more available for cake cutting 

I almost choked at the thought about how this cute little inquisitive innocent girl of mine, at this tender age, had tried to clarify and ensure, that the birthday of her birthday-loving-mushy-momma-who-will-one-day-be-no-more, is not going to pass by without a proper celebration– Oh, I had to hug her again. She wriggled out of me and then,

She – “Oh, I forgot, do you want a cake?”

Me – “Do you want to eat one on my birthday?”

She – “Of course”

Me – “Then, let’s have a cake too :)”

She – “Yayyy, cake!! Thank you Amma”

Me – “Thank YOU dear  ”

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