~~ Happy New Year !! ~~

The last post of the blogathon (of course 2 posts short), the last post of this year and the decade as well ( Its a decade of blogging for me).. Hmmm...Though I wanted to write a long post highlighting quite a few things.. I finally decided to keep it short and simple. 

I'd like to thank Rixi, Sukalp, Jayalakshmi, Meenakshi, Rohini, Poorani, Balaiah, Vandhana, Hema, Madhangi, Dinesh, Jairam, Prabha, Bhagwath for being a constant support by reading and leaving comments on my posts whole of this month - Few of you almost on every single post. Your comments meant a lot to me in this month long journey.  Thank you so much :-) Also, Thank you all so much for speedy recovery wishes as well for my little one!!

The year has been a busy blur and the decade has been a mixed bag with lot of learnings. I am sure, all of you would have had your share of ups and downs. As we step into a new year in few hours, I wish for lots of peace and happiness for all of us in the upcoming year!! May all of us grow stronger and kinder in the coming years.  Wish you and your family a very wonderful prosperous year ahead. 

~~ Twenty for Twenty ~~

Yep, that’s what I am planning to call it.

If you haven’t guessed, I plan to aim for twenty goals for the year 2020 (and hence the name of the post). Yes, I am brave that way, even after failing miserably in few of my goals this year, I still want to go ahead and set up some goals for the year that’s to come. I do want to address the things that I couldn’t achieve this year. 20 is a huge number, yes, but the plan is to keep the goals as simple as possible. As I mentioned in my learnings of this year, I am also not going to be rigid about it, and if there’s a goal I am not enjoying enough, I am going to strike it off my list as I move forward.

I wanted to make sure I put it in writing here in this space, so that I am accountable to provide a regular status update.  I am going to be mindful to ensure that the goals are simple enough, doable without much fussing about required and doesn’t in itself add pressure or chaos to my already-busy-life. One of these past years –  I was too optimistic and had set myself up for a goal of reading 40 books a year and though I did complete it, towards the end, it turned out to be a chore due to other pressing responsibilities in life. I realized that year that I need to enjoy a goal I set, rather than doing it for the sake of doing it. And though I set manageable goals last year – it was still a miss on the most.  

I am doing something different for the coming year – I am segregating my goals into different categories – Health goals, Career goals, Personal goals, Vacation & Travel goals, Writing and Reading goals. I am also planning to ensure that I update here once a month on where I stand on these goals. It will help me reflect, be flexible and strike off/add goals as necessary.

How about you? Have you planned anything yet? Do you want to join me and list out your own Twenty for Twenty? If yes, then good time to start thinking about it and when you have clear set of goals, go ahead and post it on your own blog  Needless to mention, I’ll be happy if you let me know about it and I’ll be the happiest if you tag this post, so I know there’s one more soul like me who never gives up on setting up goals 

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~~ 2019: Review - Part III ~~

And the final set of learnings!!


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The need to be busy: We all know what this is. We are in this weird era, where doing nothing, even for just a few minutes, looks like a huge waste of time. It makes us feel all guilty, like we have missed out on something. All of us, want to be busy, want to know what's going on, what’s new, what's happening everywhere. Somehow, it makes us feel good. Its makes us feel that we are not left out in whatever race we are in. When I get into the bus every single day - I see all necks bent down, except of course, the driver(Thank God), staring at their phone, scrolling mindlessly, watching videos, listening to music or checking whatever it is in their laptop – I need to admit, I am one of them too. It’s very rare that I try to look out the window and just savor the moment. Sometimes I wonder, how did we ever pass time when there were no mobile phones, portable computers, music or news at our fingertips? For the first few months of this year, when I used to leave my smartphone at home, carrying only a non-smart phone to office because of ODC restrictions - I got the much needed time to look out the window during those travel hours - Just sitting in silence, looking at world wake up to life or wind up for the day, watching the sun rise from the horizon, listening to the birds waking up, those beautiful chirping noises, witnessing the sky turn orange with the sunset during the evening ride back, just letting your mind wander, has much more power than mindless scrolling in a digital device. It is pure bliss :) Those first few months of this year, with smartphone safely left at home, have taught me that it’s not necessary to be busy to be happy. 

Seek closure: I am someone who needs closure. When we feel we’ve been on the receiving side of someone’s wrongdoing, we want resolution, we want to know why, we want to explain our stand and give the person(s) in that situation a chance to explain. There was a deep personal situation for which I was seeking such closure from quite some time. A simple apology or a valid explanation was all I was looking for. I wanted the person(s) to be accountable for their actions, which would have helped me move on. I waited for all this for years together – I was stuck in the same zone, waiting for it, only to realize this year that I was never going to get it. The person/persons involved did not feel guilty, and with years, they seemed to have used the time to strongly assert themselves into believing that they were never wrong. No wonder, there was no apology. I realized finally that holding on was just making it bad for me and not them. I finally decided to stop seeking any closure. I might not be able to forget, nor be able to forgive, but yes, I can let go of the need to seek closure. I have.

Recognition matters: My last promotion was so late, it lost its charm when I finally got it. When I went to Australia, I was expected to take care of my existing teams here and client teams there (it was twice the work I was doing here). I used to be online the whole of Australia and India working hours. I had to dive in and learn stuff on the floor that I needn’t even know offshore. I pushed myself hard. In the short stint that I was there, I was spot awarded by clients twice (not boasting, but it was a stark contrast to how many times one gets recognized internally even in a year). Having been in an environment, where recognition seldom happens, and even if it happens, it loses its charm due to the timing, it was a different feeling altogether – that instant recognition was a big surprise and mattered much. The gesture that touched me the most, was when my client leader emailed me that he had mentioned my contribution in one of his high executive meetings and there was a significant applause when my name was announced. I was on a plane back to India then and I read it only once I landed. I was on cloud nine. Now, to think about it, I am essentially from a vendor company, there was no obligation on his part to mention me in a client-only meeting, there was no reason for him to let me know about the applause as well – but, this is where the leadership differed. I should admit that only these gestures actually kept me going for the whole year. The honesty, the transparency, the ability to appreciate - was the best learning I got this year from my client leader.   I have made it a point to follow such leadership traits in my career. If you are a leader, manager, make sure you appreciate, recognize & thank people, at the right time. Believe me, it matters.
And that's a wrap on the learnings ...
Share a post of your learnings for the year as well -  looking forward to read them :) 
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~~ Few different things ~~

Having used the past few days to vent and share my learnings for the year - I thought I'd also share a few things which have been different this year!

Travel: You might already know that I have a travel bucket list. My husband is not a bucket-list person. Weekend or holidays for him = stay at home and avoid traffic (I can understand this considering current traffic conditions and pollution) and for the most part its the same for me. But sometimes, I do want to strike a few things off my travel bucket list. This year, on this front has been rewarding.  Australia (must-see's), Belur (Architecture), Chennai (pure nostalgia), Mahabalipuram (Architecture), Pondicherry (Relaxation) are now to be struck off my list. Also, it was our first road trip ever - my husband is quite new to driving long distances, so it was a bit scary, quite tiring,  yet exhilarating.  We are planning for another road trip in the last week of December. Looking forward to it already. I am a fan of family traditions. Hopefully, this will stick as a yearly family tradition. Only time will tell :)

Learning: I have always wanted to get out of my current comfort zone and learn something entirely new and different. I tried that this year - and I am glad I did. Our organization's learning studio has such great learning content and I am hooked. I loved the idea of learning goals that was introduced this year. I had added more goals than were expected of me - I got an invite to a meeting where our internal L&D department were going to advise us few who had added insane goals, to keep learning, but remove the extra goals so as to not risk the 100% completion :P :P :P  I couldn't attend it as I had a conflict, and the L&D POC made sure to reach out to me, 1-1, to ensure I know, that, I was already at 100% and these additional fancy stuff I had added out of interest were pulling me down from 100% completion. It was a funny conversation where I kept insisting, that I want to learn and he kept saying, you can still learn in January :P

 

Dance classes: Losing weight is always one of my top 3 goals. This year, after coming back from Australia, the urge to be active was prominent.  Since I was not able to commit to daily walks, I enrolled myself in a nearby dance class for a day per week. I went for a couple of classes, loved it, but then the teacher fell ill, and then her children fell ill and finally her daughter got hospitalized :( She had to stop the classes for a few months. The family has recovered now and the teacher has resumed her classes this month. My first class again after this break is this weekend. Hope to continue the classes in coming year along with walking. 

Did you do anything different this year? 

~~ 2019: Review - Part II ~~

Continuing from where I left off yesterday on life lessons this year .. 

Being kind is more important than being right: Life's been a tremendous learning platform so far.  Nothing in life has been easy. It has been a struggle. And I know, its not easy for anyone. Everyone has their own battle that they are fighting, most of the times, smiling. But at times, people cannot take it anymore and suddenly pick you to vent it out. I have learnt that at those times, just being there, listening, being empathetic is enough. Offering advice, even if its right, might not be required. Showing genuine kindness is just enough.

Set goals, but, be flexible: I set multiple personal goals this year. For a while, I felt I was not being true to my goals, because I was not able to stick to a few of them for various reasons. I just did not have the time, I felt guilty, I was upset. Finally, I consciously stopped being rigid about it. There's no point fretting about it. All I can do is just pick up the next goal when I can and move forward. Its not the end of the world. 

Let it go: I have still not mastered this one. I can't let go of a feeling very easily, particularly the ones that hurt me. I know I have to. I know I need to. But I am not the "Forget and Forgive" kind. Its just not my nature.  This year, I have consciously tried to let go, when anyone or any situation has been hurtful. I have tried to let go of nasty mean comments that people feel entitled to say or show -  even if they have never walked beside you or offered support or have been just there even to witness any struggles you have had. Believe me, I have tried to forget and forgive. Am not there yet, but I am trying.

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More in days to come.....

~~ 2019: Review!! ~~

Having had an eventful year - Here's a few lessons I learnt along the way... 

The TO-DO lists can wait:  Don't you at times have this overwhelming feeling that there are like million tabs open beckoning you to close them - and you are just scrambling about trying to close as many tabs as you can. It is at these times, that you just need to take the much needed break. You consciously have to stop thinking about all that needing attention and do what helps you to un-wind. Sleep, read, watch movies, listen to music, travel, exercise, do yoga, meditate or just do nothing - I have learnt that the to-do's can wait for a day. 

Not everyone is going to like me and not everyone is worth my time: To be honest, I always knew this, But it's something I have come to realize strongly this year. You always meet some people in life who form an opinion about you even before they have had a chance to know you - and then, when they do, however kind you are to them, however nice you are with them, they will hurt you or be nasty, they do, and most of the times without reason. I have learnt that those few are not worth my time especially when there are those million tabs to be taken care of. I have learnt to gift them with my silence than my time.   

Walking helps lose weight: I never took walking seriously. But I got my much needed validation when I was in Australia earlier this year for a couple of months. My accommodation was about 2 km from the office and I had to walk to and fro. Such a welcome change from the 4 hour travel back here in India. Not that there were no other means of transport, there was, but then, I didn't resort to it and took to walking - a total of about 4 km every week day. I did not diet a bit. I tried every damn ice cream flavor, deserts, veg food that fascinated me and yet I lost quite a few inches, thanks to all the walking. I did continue when I came back, but then I couldn't stick to it - the 4 hour travel just drains every bit of energy. However, I intend to be more serious about this starting now. I want to inculcate it into my daily life as a routine from now on and I intend to stick to it. 

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Oh, I do have a few more - to be continued tomorrow......