~~ Mommy Memoirs # 4 ~~

Originally written on 30-July-2015

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With the news flooded with a single grandfatherly image & with her school declaring a holiday – my ever-curious kid asked me “why”?! !? Though, I didn’t get into too many details, I told her that he was a great man and had now left us all!

She – Amma, why?

Me – He had grown old, Babba!

She was silent for some time and then asked,

She – Amma, will you grow old too??

Me – Yes, Babba…

She – When?

Before I could reply, she volunteered – Is it when you’d have all grey hairs on your head, just like him?

Me – Yes, Babba….

With one swift movement, she pulled me towards her and held my head closer for a thorough inspection and, of course, found a lot of real grey hairs popping out amidst the golden ones (she says so for the grey ones which are lucky enough to get coated with mehendi, which I apply once in a blue moon) & the natural brown ones!

She – You already have grey hairs!

Me – Hmmm…..

Then, all of a sudden, she hugged me tight & started to sob!  I was startled by this reaction, but then I hugged her back, patted her gently and asked her what happened!  The muffled declaration she made amidst those tiny little sobs had me dumbstruck and I am sure would probably stay with me forever!

She – Amma, I don’t want you to have any grey hairs, I don’t want you to grow old and I never want you to leave me! Okay?

I tightened my embrace, continued my gentle patting & with a failed attempt at preventing tears flooding my eyes, replied to her with a soft – Okay!

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*Babba – Little Baby

~~ Mommy Memoirs # 3 ~~

Originally written on 26-July-2015

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This happened yesterday morning – I had recently taught my daughter how to write her name & she was quite enthusiastically practicing it…  I noticed she had prefixed SSV before her name, every time… 

Me:- Babba, What’s SSV?

She:- Friend’s name…

Me:- Hmmmmmm… What’s your friend’s name?

She (with a surprised look and an equally surprised tone):-  Ammmma…. SSV 

It took me a few seconds to finally figure out her friend’s name!!

Any guesses?      SSV is Yeshasvi   

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*Babba – Little baby

~~ Re-Born? ~~

Originally Written on 23 July 2015

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Happiness can be found in the simplest aspects of life – I have always known this, why, I am sure everyone does! But then, do we actually live this? If you are a parent, have you noticed that your tiny little darling is able to live this without having to strive for it! My baby (okay, okay, I know, I have to consciously stop addressing her as a baby from now on) daughter can and I am sure, so does any growing kid out there!

Can you think of a day, in say,  recent few years, where your heart was or your thought processes were filled with bliss which stemmed out of pure love, trust & of course the never ending curiosity in abundance with no pride, malice, preferences, jealousy, ego, inhibitions, fear, liabilities, materialistic desires, comparisons etc. etc.! I am sure, it would be a big big NO! It’s very intriguing that as we grow, how well we acquire all of these other qualities that brings down the inner happiness, without noticing it, intentionally or unintentionally and yet we fool ourselves, that we are actually happy!

Before I became a parent myself, though I was fond of kids, I never actually observed how these curious-happy-tiny eyes light up at any given moment for a minutest transformation which we elders tend to ignore as a mundane change! We are so conditioned with different definitions of happiness with growing age that we forget sometimes to realize that joy can be sought from simple things in life, just the way the kids are able to, so effortlessly! 

Being a parent in a way is probably that one chance given to all us elders, to re-learn how to live life, to the fullest, for the moment, in the true sense, all over again …..Though, we take pride in being a parent and having this convincing ability to groom these curious kids for so many aspects of life –  I guess, it’s us parents, who actually are re-born for an interesting re-grooming experience... What do you think?

~~ Just Like That ~~

Originally written on 16-July-2015

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~~So, if you had, by any chance, thought that the prizewinning declaration of my daughter in this previous post marked the end of that conversation, well, no, I was not that lucky that day! It just led to another set of curious questions, the first one being why we need toe nails  :roll:  :roll:

~~Remember?  I was supposed to post a quarterly progress report to keep me on track with the 3 goals I had set for myself earlier this year, but well, it turns out I could post only a mid-year review!! Gosh, time just flies, isn’t it? Losing weight still seems a far-fetched dream with probably a milligram difference from where I started! However, I must say, there has been a considerable amount of progress on the other 2 goals!  I did enroll myself to those driving classes and completed the 4-wheeler refresher course (details in subsequent paragraphs)!! I also managed to get a 2 wheeler learning license after which I have conveniently managed to skip the rest of classes. For someone, who has never bunked any classes in school or college, I do want to blame this bunking act of mine on the pouring rains, but then, I very well know, it’s just partially true! I might resume the classes in a few weeks’ time and hopefully be the proud owner of a 2 wheeler license by the end of this year (whether I will ever have the courage to actually use the license is something only time will tell)!

~~How many of you remember that vibrant & vivacious Asin’s character in Ghajini! Well, I do, because just like her, from time immemorial, it had been one my bucket list thingy’s to purchase a car of my own from my own hard earned money(at one time, it was specifically ambassador, but I have moved on)! So, earlier this year, even before I enrolled for those driving classes, I bought myself a CAR! Yes, you read that right!! The process of selecting from the choices available, comparing and calculating on-the-road prices and revisiting budgets, reading reviews, calling up for quotes, staring blankly at the sales executive, but trying to mentally note down all the mechanical jargon's he threw at me (so I can later Google to understand it better) and of course, nodding at times to give an impression that I understood everything perfectly, asking the silliest of questions, visiting multiple show rooms, and finally finally booking THE ONE – all of it was hell of a ride :)  :) !!! At some level, I guess, this hefty purchase also played an important role in pushing me to take that little step towards refresher course enrollment :P  :P   too much eh?!?!

~~So after completing those 10 refresher classes that I had enrolled for, I asked the instructor if I needed any more practice sessions… He seemed a bit bewildered at that prospect – and then after about a moment of silence, told me that its better I start driving my own car as there is nothing more he could explain, even if I took 50 more classes… I am sure he didn’t mean it in a sarcastic way :D  I called one of my cousins that weekend to accompany me for the first ever try on my very own car! My cousin, who initially, settled quite comfortably in the co-driver seat, without feeling the need of seat belt – moved to the edge of the seat after just a few minutes & by the time I reached the main road, he had secured himself with the seat belt :P  :P  I did have (and still have) some trouble w.r.to the gear shifts (I should have bought one of those automatic-gear-shift models), but well, overall, I think I drove better than I myself had anticipated! Anyways, at the end of the ordeal (for my cousin, though he was sweet enough not to point it out), he rated me an “average” driver requiring a lot of practice :oops: Not bad, I guess :P  :P 

~~ Okay, this post is quite going in the direction of self-deprecation, so before signing off, I need to make a note to post a few in future where I am all praises for myself  :D :D

~~ Mommy Memoirs # 2 ~~

Originally posted on 22-July-2015

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This is quite an old one – but one of my all time favorite..

Me :-  Your soap?
She:-  Pears
Me :-  Amma’s soap?
She:-  Hmmmmm…
Me :-  Dove
She:-  Hmmmmm…

The very next day…..

Me :-  Your soap?
She:-  Pears
Me:-   Amma’s soap?
She:-  PIGEON 

Me :shocked:   

~~ Rants & Rants & Some More Rants ~~

Originally written in my other blog space on 14-Oct-2015 - Syncing here today

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Warning – total incoherent rant alert! 

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~~Gone are those days – When we had no qualms of travelling alone on an overnight journey in a bus…  Where parents could leave kids with neighbors in case they had to attend to any urgent work outside….When parents could let their kids play with other kids in a colony/verandah/park without having to watch them like hawks!   When parents used to feel great about their kids being clicked for being cute! When we used to feel happy about being clicked for being cute! When we used go to school, without any fear, on the way or in the school!  When parents had no necessity to educate toddlers about what is good touch and what is not! Believe me, when my 4 year old looks at me with those lovely small curious eyes holding a puzzled expression as I explain her about good/bad touch – my heart breaks! I am not sure if the current media is successful in doling out sensational/breaking/important news, but it has successfully managed to create a new breed of paranoid parents! 

~~ Speaking of paranoia – I have to say, ever since I started working, I have almost always travelled alone, however long be the journey ….But after my little one came along, I realized I couldn’t travel alone anymore! For the 1 or 2 times that I did have to travel alone with her, I couldn’t sleep a wink the whole night – Well, apart from the fear about the reasons stated above, there was this another aspect of having to leave the baby alone, when bus stops for just few minutes at unearthly hours for loo-breaks! You see, how do I leave my sleeping baby alone? What if something happens to her in my absence? What if the bus leaves before I come back? What if she wakes up when I am away? What if I board a wrong bus and that wrong bus driver refuses to believe that I am in the wrong bus and just speeds away?  – Oh, there were so many other awful thoughts running in my mind that I simply let the loo-break pass! There was also this another guilty-part of me wondering why I had never thought about these important possibilities earlier (well, there is an explanation to that as well – I had never ever used these loo-breaks ever in the past – I would probably be snoring away to glory to not even realize when the bus had stopped and resumed its journey back))!!!! After the horrible experience during the first travel, when I had to gear up for my second lone travel with her, I decided that I would fall asleep as soon as I board the bus so I would never know when the bus stops for a break next! But as always the case, Murphy had other plans for me & well, I spent another sleepless night in the bus staring outside at the passing trees, blinking stars and thinking about adult diapers!! I had decided by the end of my second lone travel, that, from then on, I would book flight tickets if I ever had to travel alone with my little one! It meant spending more in terms of money and almost took the same duration as an overnight bus travel (airports are quite far from both FROM and TO homes).. But I knew, I would be one relieved (if you know what I mean) mommy at the end of these lone travels!

~~ Speaking of relieved, well, as I had mentioned in one of my earlier post, you can feel good about being the world’s best mommy, only if the other experienced good mommies let you feel so! Oh boy, the amount of sniggering that I had to face when I declared my decision and practiced it too – I was literally considered a show off (and am probably still considered one) for opting air travel when an overnight bus journey would have saved me (point to be noted – not them) a couple of thousands!  Would you believe that almost all who did have a thing or two to say for this convenience choice of mine, were of my own gender and were even mommies, at that? (no offense to any nice mommies reading this) Well, I couldn’t believe & I tried offering explanations to a few about why I preferred spending than suffering – It was after all for convenience & safety! Ok, take it from me – explaining such things to other “great” mommies is BIG BIG BIG FAT MISTAKE! They would simply roll their eyes and snub you by saying that they have full control over their (in) secure thoughts & full bladder!   Well, I know, if they really cared, they would have understood without me having to explain or would have just volunteered to accompany me during these journeys to save poor-me from MY unwarranted expenses! Wouldn’t they?

~~ Huh, to think I started with paranoia spread by media to ever-evaluating-great-mommies, maybe I should rant often!